Stuck in the Middle With Chew
by HanxChewie
Summary: When the Millennium Falcon runs out of fuel, a certain wookiee and a sharp-tongued smuggler become closer than they've ever been before. But does everything happen for a reason, or are there mysterious forces at work?
1. Out of Fuel

**Stuck in the Middle With Chew**

 **Chapter 1:**

 **Out of Fuel**

"Look, Chewie, I know it's been hard on you since Mallatobook finished with you, but that's why I've brought you here, to take your mind off of it" A young Han Solo spoke, his words containing a sense of protection over the wookiee.

Chewbacca looked down at his plate of food; sausage and mash - his favourite. But even his favourite dish couldn't elevate his low mood. The quiet sounds of the canteena band were playing a sorrowful melody, in contrast to their usual upbeat style.

The hairy figure glanced deeply up into Han's eyes, then followed as the smuggler quickly moved his gaze to a passing gentleman's rear. An irritated growl escapes Chewbacca, drawing ateention to himself, though the canteena lay wholly empty.

"That's not gay, Chewie! I didn't even mean to look there!" Han blushed madly, his hands open in front of him but a guilty waver betrayed his voice. The wookiee was about to growl again when a strange atmosphere appeared in the room.

The band stopped playing. An all too familiar slithering filled the air. Jabba the Hutt came into view, his evil eyes looked around, taking in all kinds of information like a rancor in the mating season. Firmly holding the horrible slug's hand was Greedo, Jabba's personal debt-collection officer.

The pair came to a halt next to Han and Chewbacca's table. "I've already made you hard once, Han, when I froze you in carbonite; you'd better have my money" Jabba's slimy tongue formed the syllables which formed the words, and Greedo watched on, enjoying the way the slug's mouth opened and closed.

Han casually stands, followed closely by Chewbacca. "I have your money, it's just not exactly accessible at the moment" The smuggler flashed his most charming grin toward the apparently homosexual aliens, trying his best to win them over.

"That's too bad" Greedo fingered the button on his shirt. "If you don't pay, your furry flea-bag will be collatteral". Han saw red. He unbuckled his trusty blaster pistol while diving toward Greedo. Thrusting it into the alien's temple, he breathed heavily with rage.

"What did you say, you green piece of shit?!"

A potent, yellow liquid oozed out of Greedo's left-hand trouser leg; steam arose from it like a boiling kettle. "You shouldn't have made him piss his pants, Han - now his lovely legs will stink!"

"You shouldn't have done that" Jabba, with lightning-fast reflexes, pulls out a blaster pistol and shoots Han's out of his hands. "I'll make sure you're really solo this time, Han Solo"

The grotesque space slug aims carefully at Han, then slowly turns the barrel toward Chewbacca, his finger quickly attempts to send a bolt of energy toward the wookiee's heart.

Han swiftly grabs Chewbacca's unfinished plate of sausage and mash and pushes it into Jabba's wrinkly face. This action disrupts the laser shot, sending it off-course, seering it straight into Chewbacca's foot.

A cry of pain escapes the wookiee. Han unbuckles a sonic imploder from his belt, activates it and throws it at the base of Jabba's mass. A bright sphere of light blinds all but Chewbacca and Han, and they make their escape.

After boarding the Millenium Falcon, Han races to the cockpit to prepare for takeoff. Chewbacca stands on the open landing bay, bowcaster poised in defense. Multiple henchmen of Jabba's appear around the perimeter of the hangar.

The wookiee shoots accurately, easily dispatching them all. A furry fist punches the button to close the landing bay. "Here we go!" Han shouts as he pilots the craft up and away from the desert planet.

As the Millenium Falcon becomes as small in the distance as a star, Jabba and Greedo smirk and exchange looks. "All according to plan" Jabba states; they laugh evilly.

"Remind me never to have dinner in Jabba's favourite canteena again" Han grinned, glad to have made it out unscathed. Then his mind shot to his wounded partner.

The wookiees are a strong, proud race; Chewie would never admit he was hurt, but Han knew him well, too well, sometimes even more than he knew himself.

"Pal, show me your foot" Han spoke softly as he entered the back area of their craft. Chewie was perched on a shelf, averting the smuggler's gaze which always seemed to see right through him. He turned away slightly, feeling embarrassed over getting injured, or for showing a pained expression at all. He hated to appear weak to anyone, especially to Han.

"Oh, boy, let me see. Please" The smuggler neared, squatting down next to his partner. "You're lucky - it's just skimmed you" Han spoke gladly, more glad for his own sake though - that his close friend would be okay.

The smuggler bandaged Chewbacca's wound and rested his warm hand on the wookiee's leg while he stood up. But hus hand remained there, like it had a mind of its own; but if it did, it was thinking the same as Han himself - that it wanted to be as near to Chewie as possible. And to hold him close.

Chewbacca purs with gratitude over Han's care.

"No need for any thanks, Chew; you know I'll always have all the time in the world for you"

The space around them seemed to ignite in that moment; an unknown heat emerged from deep inside of them and destroyed their innhibitions; they gently neared the other, their lips parting welcomingly. Bare, human lips; hairy, wookiee lips.

A sudden, persistent beep echoed around the space craft.

Han raced to the main console in the cockpit. "Damn it! those bastards must've cut the fuel lines before we took off!" The smuggler slammed his fist onto the side of the ship as he watched the final drops of fuel filter away into the emptiness of space before them.

"Looks like we'll be stuck here for a while, bud"

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	2. What's Wrong With Chew?

**Stuck in the Middle With Chew**

 **Chapter 2:**

 **What's Wrong With Chew?**

It began with a slight twitch in his left eye and a clenched fist as a strange sense of despair infiltrated the once calm and collected wookiee. The hairy creature began to furiously scratch at the base of his silky forehead whilst breathing out a deep and unsure pant. Han's gaze fixated upon chewies once gleaming features, noticing an instant change within him.

"You ok, bud?" Han inquired with qualities only the most empathetic nurse could possess, "you don't look so good." Han stretched out his rough-skinned palm and caressed the cheek of the slightly uneasy Chewbacca. The wookiee replied with an ear-piercing shriek that shook the entire ship and caused the smugler to jump back in fright.

"Don't call me a faggot, Chewie!" Han retorted in defence, "I was just checking your fur for Space-Sickness Fleas." But this only caused the furry figure to enrage with even more climax. Chewie roared and began to flail his arms before running up and down the ship.

'I wasn't trying to seduce you, pal' Han pleaded "I swear I'm as straight as the days are long!" The wookie continued his unruly rampage; he began to bang on the computer consoles with increased vigor, before squatting down onto the floor to release a monster shit which splattered down the walls and began to slither like Jabba. "Well, this is slightly unorthodox, buddy!" Solo pointed out whilst trying to figure out what on Kashyyyk was going on. "Galaxy"

Meanwhile, within the confines of Jabba's sordid palace, Greedo began to coat his long and bendy fingers with a lustrous bantha oil. Greedo invited the strongly potent smell into his nostrils as he exhaled with a longing and sexually frustrated sigh. It had been far too long since the olive skinned rodian had felt this good. Greedo stared into his reflection filled with dissipation whilst contemplating the impending and unspeakable acts he was about to perform, causing his body to tremble with anticipation.

Swinging the doors open, Greedo's luminous violet eyes were treated to the sight of Jabba laying upon a bed of Ithorian rose petals. "Are you ready yet Greedo?" Jabba asked with an intensity that Greedo had grown accustommed to, "My body awaits your supple touch." Greedo sachets into the dimly lit bedroom and his hands magnetise towards Jabba's disheveled skin. He slowly and delicately massages his inviting shoulders and flaccid foreskin until the glistening oil reveals the rodians own image, creating an aroused grin across his alien lips.

"Are you taking advantage of the reflective properties of my surface?" Jabba inquires whilst buttering a slice of space bread. A blush encompasses Greedo's cheeks as he scrambles to quickly change the subject, failing to ignore the almost blue-ball-inducing growth within his undergarments.

"Jabba?" The rodian pipes up with a shy tone to his voice. "Yes? Jabba replies with disinterest. "Why were we laughing earlier, when that gay bastard and hairy muff escaped from us?" Greedo questioned. "Well", Jabba begins to explain "everyone knows that Wookiee's are the second most claustrophobic creatures in the universe. So when we cut the fuel lines..." "We trapped them together in that ship with no escape!" Greedo interupts with a child-like glee. "Yes," Jabba continues to note "when the rebels find them, that ship will be coated in blood, hair and turds!" The two villains erupt into a fit of maniacal laughter. Jabba's eyes begin to wander towards Greedo's inner sanctum. "Now then, Greedo" the super-obese space slug wheezes, "I hope you washed that piss off your legs." Greedo begins to wince, as an elongated and thick tongue unravels out of jabba's cavernous mouth and begins to fondle his scaley ankles, as it works its way up.

"You are a one - never change"

Hours later, within the isolation of the Millenium Falcon, Chewie has started to pull hair from all over his body, focussing mostly on the scrotum. Han watches the entire performance with a look of horror and secret passion. After relieving his ballsack of several clumps of hair, his ominous pupils set their gaze upon Han. He starts to stomp towards the smuggler with foam rushing out of his gaping jaw. The grim visage causes a deep sense of dread within Solo, who begins to tickle his own bollocks in order to restore a calm order.

Han's mind casts itself back to a previous conversation. Within the flashback, the smuggler sits upon a loose fitting stool whilst staring into the eyes of Chewbacca's previous significant other. Mallatobuck regails Han with the story of how she first met Chewie and how reckless he once was. "How did you ever calm him down?" Han inquires. Malla let's out a strangely quiet yowl which indicates to Han the only technique that ever guaranteed a way out of his stressful moods. "You can't be serious!?" Han replies, with a tone of disbelief. Mallotobuck returns his comment with a strange wink as she downs her space cocktail. "Well" Han replies "I hope I never have to do that."

The smuggler is thrown out of his flashback by a crazed wookiee who slaps Han across his face. Chewbacca screams whilst violently rubbing his nipples and running around in a figure-eight pattern. After Han regains consciousness, Chewie begins making tracks towards Solo again. "Do I really have to do this!?" Han thinks to himself. Chewie, stands proud over the smuggler's face and starts to raise his arms. "Well" Han sighs, "here goes nothing." His hand stretches out to grasp at Chewie's drooping and fluffy member, and begins to vigorously rub it like an angry maid trying to get rid of a stubborn stain. Chewie yowls in anger and tries to evade the advances, but Han is far too quick and far too persistant. The wookie tries to run and thrusts his body all over the ship, but the brave smugler stubbornly continues to force-masturbate, a trick he had learnt from Yoda.

"C'mon, you know you like it, you filthy boy" Han teases as he uses his left hand to fondle Chewbacca's gooch. The Wookie tries to hide his pleasure, he had never been touched like this before. Chewbacca takes in every second as his distressed demeanor begins to dissapate. With the fluffy figure fully erect, Han carefully removes his own trousers with careful and practised precision - never once losing grasp upon his partner's third leg. Chewie releases an uneasy growl but Han silences his protests with a solitary finger, pressed against his bushy lips. "It's ok, pal, no one has to know." Solo takes the wookie's trembling paw and guides it towards the tent rising within the smuglers tight skivvies. Han bites his own lip in order to surpress the intense moans from the situation he has long anticipated.

A crackling of radio static interupted the sexually-charged pair, boners subsiding a little; the dark side of the force was felt throught the craft as an iconic wheezing invaded the space craft's passages. Big, shiny helmet, black as the Death Star itself, appeared on the main computer monitor after a few minor flashes sparked it into life.

Darth Vader stared menacingly at the two bare penises and four testicles between the heroes' legs, licking his dry lips between the bell of his head and the imposing helm. His base was hidden, like a secret. With a tightening tug, he adjusts his faux leather gloves before teasing them with a warning:

"You can not hope to evade the power of the STIFFY Beam!"

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	3. The Dark Lord Rises

**Stuck in the Middle With Chew**

 **Chapter 3:**

 **The Dark Lord Rises**

Hours later...

Within the cold interior of Vader's Super Star Destroyer, two clinical vials stood from the floor to the ceiling, filled with a thick, oozing man-soup. This particular area of the vast craft was named 'Experimental STIFFY Beam Testing Area', a department shrouded in mystery, even among the majority of the top echelon of the Empire.

Floating heavily within, seperated by their respective walls of armour-plated glass, Chewbacca and Han were unconcious; naked human flesh, hairy yet naked wookiee flesh. Space respirators invaded their mouths, ironically providing them with the gift of oxygen.

A sudden volt of seering electricity snapped the pair into semi-conciousness.

"Ah, I see you're awake, Chewbarebacker and Hand Solo" A menacing voice cut through the throbbing sounds emminating from the various computer consoles, dotted around the room. Violent bubbles gurgle around the slimy vessels as Han and Chewie angrily thrash around their tiny prisons.

"I have you now" Darth Vader nears the pair, elite stormtroopers clinging to his side, their impenetrable armour vulnerable in only one place - the bare bumcheeks, which protude from the suit like a water balloon in a tight bucket.

"You may notice you both have vast erections; Hand Solo, though, yours is considerably less vast than that monster wookiee dick" The Dark lord of the Sith places a gloved hand across his black-leather-covered dark side genitalia, feeling pleasure noticing the effects of his new weapon take place. The smuggler's fully-circumcised member stood at attention, purple head untainted by the sputem-like substance around him; Chewie's gigantic cock towered with equal stiffness, but unparrelled surface area.

With a boing, Sith dick pops into focus. Curveture resembling a scimitar, Vader generously coats his vinyl fingers and gooch with an entire bottle of milky lube - the liquid erupted a freezing sensation wherever it delved, and it delved in each and every orifice. The other, unemployed phalangees of the dark lord, forcefully, but not unwelcomingly, slid their way up their bodyguards' sphincters. Whimpers escaped the stormtroopers' covered lips as pleasure enticed their moistened nipples nearer orgasm.

Interrupting the tiny fingerbang session, alarms whined throughout the ship. "Warning! Warning! Intruder detected!" Vader pulls out his, remarkably clean, fingers out of their anuses. With a sniff, he grunts in agitation that his pleasure was cut short, but grateful that he passed the new Empire law which states all stormtroopers should be correctly dooched upon reporting for duty.

"Find the intruder" Vader points calmly, all his soldiers disappear beyond the door obediantly. Tucking his pre-cum-riddled cock back into his black armour, he removes his polished helmet dramatically. Approaching the glass vials, he sticks out his thrush-covered tongue and begins to caress the sheet of hard material with his mouth muscle - saliva lubing it right up.

"I'll have you both, soon enough"

With a clap, the lights dimmed substantially. Darth felt horny, hornier than usual. He was finally going to have his way with two of his favourite arch enemies.

"Not so fast, you big dildo" A woman's voice makes Vader spin right around.

Princess Leia, crop-top barely covering her volumtuous tits, pointed her blaster pistol at the dark lord. With a hiss, his lightsaber came to life. "You cannot hope to defeat me, daughter of mine"

Multiple shots burst out, Vader dodges them all and escapes through a nearby blast door - sealing her in with his other captives.

Princess Leia rushes to the floating prisoners, she bangs her hands angrily on the resistant glass, not failing to notice the impressive lengths before her, the same lengths she'd long envisioned fucking each other so many times in her dreams.

Darth Vader's voice fills the room through hidden speakers:

"In exactly sixty seconds, the room will explode, killing you all. You may be able to hack the door and break a glass vial, but even if you did, you'd have time enough to save only one of your friends... The question is..."

He pauses for breath and dramatic effect.

"Which one do you save?"

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	4. The Droids Are Cumming

**Stuck in the Middle With Chew**

 **Chapter 4:**

 **The Droids Are Cumming**

Evil laughter of the dark lord engulfs the room like a thick fog, causing a deep sense of dread within the princess. The speakers became deathly quiet, leaving Leia abandonned with the impending dilemma

"What the fuck do I do? How do i decide which dick is worth saving!?" Leia contemplates to herself whilst moistening her hard nipples with her own saliva, nervously anticipating the cock.

Before Leia can contemplate futher, a harsh grinding sound invades her ears like an angry space earwig. A small but bright white light makes its entrance on the left side of the STIFFY Beam Experimental Chamber wall. It slowly arcs around, creating an impression big enough for a few people to go through. With a clang, the metal that was cut away falls forward, revealing three differently sized figures, all accompanied by large, metallic erections.

"What did I tell you, R2D2!? I told you this wasn't the exit!" an impatient and snobbish voice sounds from the newly created hole. A quickfire of various beeps follows the comment, as if incredibly angry.

"I can't believe you just called me that, R2" Replied the gold plated droid, "You're not a 21st century rapper, you can't get away with it!"

Leia's eye's squint as the silhouettes become more visible. "C3PO?! R2D2!?" Leia questions with a happy tone to her voice. The three droids come over to greet her, accidentally poking her stomach with their hard metallic dildos, making the princess slap the third figure with her large pendulous breasts. The other, un-named droid, beeps with a furious tone.

"What's up with this steel piece of shit!?" Leia questions whilst applying a second coat of lip gloss around her tarted-up face.

"Ma'am, This is Gonk droid!" C3PO replies, "all three of us have been trapped aboard Vader's ship. Being forced to pleasure the stormtroopers every night whilst the dark lord watches. What are you doing here? and, oh my! Why are Han and Chewie within these awful chambers?"

R2D2 makes an excited whistling noise. "Yes, R2" C3PO replies with an unimpressed huff "I did see their cocks! They may very well have impressive lengths, but this is not the time"

The golden droid's schlong stood like a compass as he suddenly lost his footing. Falling completely forward, a power cable became unplugged and a boring woman's voice escaped the speakers and filled the ship:

"Destruction of STIFFY Beam Area aborted"

"Oh, my. I'm so sorry. I shall plug this back in at once" C3PO scrambled to replace the power cable.

"No!" The others shouted in unison.

"You, Golden Gay Bot, help me rescue these two!" Leia ordered, her tight thong moistening her labias with anticipation. C3PO's stinky, metal feet took tiny steps toward the huge glass vials, charging up his welder-jap as he went.

A spark brought his seering-hot bell into action. Beginning to slice open the first container, which imprisioned Chewbacca, sputum-like substances broke loose, growing in mass as the slicing became longer, like a slowly erecting phallis.

"We've got company!" Leia shouted to her new posse, informing them of the multiple stormtroopers invading the room through the exposed hole the droids entered in from. Multiple laser shots narrowly miss the gang.

"Get the bitch's enourmously tight snatch, and her devious sex droids!" A voice escaped one of the suits of white armour. Princess Leia accurately blasts away all of their glands, killing them all instantly. She turns around cooly and spots Gonk Droid laying on his back with C3PO stood over him domineeringly.

"Oh, C3P ON ME!" Gonk begs in his robotic language, part of his speech breaking up as the steaming liquid blankets his mass.

"What did we miss?" Han Solo, baring all, finally escaped his prison along with his furry pal.

"Han! You're free!" Leia screams delightfully, though most of the delight originated from R2-D2's electric sceptor; it vibrated her clitoris through her tight trousers, like the marracas of the cantina band.

"We need to get out of here!" Han shouts to the group, turning toward the hole in the wall.

"What's the rush?" A long, dark cock enters the room long before its sith master. Vader blocks the only exit out of the room, his red lightsaber poised; but not for battle, but for mad sex and fucking.

Chewbacca surprises the dark lord, ambushing him from the side, like a cheeky drip of pre-cum before the main ejaculant. Vader overpowers even the wookiee, tying him up invisibly with the force.

"Don't fucking move, or the furry bell-end gets it" Vader warns the group who back away in fright. Vader bends down, slipping a devilish tongue through his lip slit, between Chewie's bumcheeks. Despite Chewie's best efforts, the wookiee's pork sword grew to a new found length - the imposing horniness giving it almost superhuman girth. A dull pain begins to throb throughout, particularly around the gooch/scroctum/testes.

"Come here, you" Vader purs, removing his dark helmet entirely, revealing a pale, decaying co+mplexion. An uncharacteristically quivering hand caresses the wookiee's cheek and their eyes lock. Overcast Vader lips, fluffy Kashyyk lips, begin to embrace. Passion engulfs them. The wookiee loses control and brings Vader in as close as possible. Vader's hands unrelentingly squeeze upon Chewie's buttocks as their make-out session intensifies. The group look on with horrified expressions, yet they do not want to stop the enticing drama unfolding in front of them. A strange, foreboding and controlling force is felt amongst everyone, as they unfurl their sexual organs out, ready to vigourously fuck each other.

In the darkness of deep space, the Super Star Destroyer begins an automated docking sequence, slowing to a crawl toward a banjo string-shaped space station:

"You see," a distinguishingly menacing tone commentates on the planned situation being observed upon a giant screen, The shadows part, revealing Emperor Palpatine's grinning yet slimy face. He floats in his self-induced sex swing stupor, within his private sex dungeon deep in the bowels of the Douche Star, orbiting the Black Hole Motherfucker!

Jabba and Greedo ooze into the foreground, unpaid twi'lek whores are absorbed by the hutt's weight. A squeal of excitement escapes Greedo as Jabba's chode rushes, preparedly, into his anus. The Emperor grins at his lackeys, pleased with how his evil plans were are finally being brought into fruition.

"Not even Vader can resist the power of my STIFFY beam!"

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